I just wanna be real...

This post is going to be more of a venting session. You've been warned :)

Recently, I had a few conversations that got me thinking and left me somewhat sad. These convos were with people who have a personal relationship with Jesus.

We were discussing life and all that it entails now with husbands, children, ministry, etc. Also discussed were struggles that come with these roles.

 One comment struck a cord with me. This person felt ashamed or bad that she was having a difficult time in her marriage and because of this struggle, she felt she should not be in her role of ministry at church.....because her life was not perfect. She feared she was "faking it".  I also found out later that NO ONE knew of these troubles up until this point. It had been kept a secret. Just festering in her heart and mind. 

I had another convo about life and there was a lack of discussion on struggles and hard times. I guess it focused more on the positive and happy things that have come with life. But, I left the conversation feeling discouraged because it seemed to me this person had a perfect life. There was no talk or even hint at struggles or difficult times. It made me feel like my life should be A-ok and if I did have hard times, that was BAD. 

So from these two similar but different conversations, I got to thinking....

Why do we, as Christians, feel like we have to be perfect (even if you are involved with ministry-by ministry I mean anyone whether paid or unpaid for their service)? Why do we act like things are fine and fluff things up (for the most part)? Are some peoples lives just really that great and perfect? (I REALLY do not believe that, do you?)

I have only lived in the South but feel like we are really good at this. We present ourselves all squeaky clean (but don't look under the rug or behind that closet door b/c it will all be revealed...all that dirty stuff). 

I just feel a conviction to be real and I want others to be real with me. I need to know what you went through because when I get to that point in my life, I need to know that it is normal and I can get through it too. It's always better when you have a friend go to the bathroom with you right?! Well, same thing when you go through a hard time. You want a friend who has felt the growing pains and cried tears of frustration and hurt to hold your hand as you walk through it. You want them to share scripture with you and pray for you and say "you are not the only one", "God is in control and will get you through this", "I learned and grew so much during that difficult time in my life".

I felt so bad for the first girl because she was alone and felt like she had to fit a mold. James 1:2-3 says to Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. So it's not if we have trials, it's WHEN. We will. 

Just because we follow Jesus, does not mean we are promised a life of perfection or smooth sailing exempt from heartaches and tragedy. But, we have hope that in all things God works for the GOOD of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

So all that to say, I want to be real. I may be TO honest with people but I appreciate honesty. Why? Because I want to learn from it. Galations 6:2 says we should carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfil the law of Christ. He wants us to admit our struggles (sin) so we can help each other, encourage each other and sharpen one another. Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: if either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

I am thankful for those conversations. They have taught me that I need to have my eyes open for opportunities to ask and listen to the ladies around me and not assume everything is peachy keen. Even though we go to church and are involved in ministry or small groups, we need a place or setting to be real and honest about what is going on in our lives.

I hope you have someone (of the same sex) you can turn to talk about the struggles of this life. If not, I encourage you to. God does some really awesome things when we humble ourselves.


...All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, 
"God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble."
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
 1 Peter 5:5-7